| hiatus |
[Jan. 18th, 2007|10:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jose gonzalez | ] |
although i guess this should pretty much be an assumed aspect of things, this is the out there announcement that this livejournal will be on hiatus for a bit of time. i don't know how long that will be, but at least i would say a good two or three months
i'm trying to get some (good) things together, and although i never felt terribly obliged to write in this, i do not plan to do so for some time.
when i feel like things merit regular updates, discussions, etc.. that i can't do in other ways, then i'll be back. i guess since i've been using this (with varying frequency) for so long, i sort of like having it. maybe it's my fault for not changing. but that's okay, i don't mind.
until then, all the best |
|
|
| what the |
[Nov. 16th, 2006|11:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  listless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the bound stems | ] |
wow, it's been a long time here
i am inside, staying out of the torrential downpour outside. i was supposed to go to a show in brooklyn, meet up with a friend i hadn't seen in a while, but after getting out of work fairly late and returning home in what became lashing wind and rain... it just wasn't happening
it seems like given the relative sparseness of these postings there should be huge lists of events and happenstance to run down but when most things don't stand out terribly i guess it's hard for that to really be the case
i'm trying to come up with the few points that stand out and let me tell you it's pretty fucking tough.
we've had a few big cooking events over at the apartment - big meals prepared by a few people, which have turned out well, a lot of eating, drinking, and talking. i've been trying to keep organizing / playing soccer which honestly has had probably like a 60-70% success rate. pretty good considering i really am miserable at getting shit together. but that's about to end as winter comes and fields close. i've tried to rekindle some friendships, let others die out, and some muddle in between. but, mostly things have remained status quo-ed
the only good thing is that lately i've been getting bitten by the creative bug a bit more. i've been doing some cooking experiments, which will continue. and i've been writing things in my head and out loud, so i will be back to writing for my own personal sake soon. i've been reading a lot, and some not too bad stuff. and then hopefully i will be able to continue a bit with the visual, though i definitely think that to be my weakest area
so we'll see. bigger, larger, more overarching things are still brewing. though mostly just in my mind.
the weirdest thing is, when i sat down to write this; i really thought i had more i wanted to say. |
|
|
| just how sharp of a turn can a person make |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nirvana | ] |
i think this being done right now at the present moment is more out a feeling of obligation than anything really. meaning, i feel obligated to keep this thing from slipping away for months on end, and that means that even if i don't have much to say there's going to be some rambling here
there is an overriding sense of strange right now, like i am in a strange position where i have the ability to make quite a few significant choices. some minor ones too. but i've got a few choices rolling about in my head which are going to be made in the very near term and relate in many ways to my general actions, and my general behavior.
i guess a question i would put out there is, is being a loner really all that bad of a thing? and my response would be that i don't know, but it's something that's bouncing about
this isn't new years, so maybe this timing doesn't make sense, but:
i resolve to not even attempt to involve people in things when they have no motivation to do so. for what i felt was their benefit, i have often resolved to this with women, men, whatever, and i guess i've come to the point where i realize that the exertions are and have been wasted.
eventually you have to find people willing to do things and trying to do the things you're trying to, and i guess if you're not going to try to go it alone then you need to try it with these people. maybe that doesn't make sense. i warned that this would be rambling
do you ever watch the news and think that you're pushing walls you can't possibly move? sometimes i feel like leaving would be so much easier |
|
|
| commitments not kept |
[Sep. 18th, 2006|08:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | josh rouse | ] |
obviously my promise to myself to update this once a week have fallen to the wayside, as have many other things, but we're getting back on the ball sort of
i guess since so much time has now passed, the easiest way for me to do this is going to be in list-form without giving any real importance to the chronological order but rather just adding points as i see fit:
- a few weeks more worth of soccer which featured, at the latest game, me pulling something in my back and in my shoulder, but continuing wisely to play for about 90 minutes more, and paying for it with over a week of exercise down-time
- two TDR events - a literacy benefit featuring a number of musical acts, 3 of whom were really quite entertaining called The Song Corporation, Glue, and TK Webb and the first ever Brooklyn Book Fair on what wound up being a glorious Saturday outdoors at Brooklyn Borough Hall
- a few nights where I took advantage of a the concept of "pre-gaming", one of which resulted in me chain-smoking in a spot called Scratchers, and another of which resulted in me enjoying the company of some bug-eyed San Franciscan for a few hours in another bar and making sure to embarass the both of us in front of whoever of my friends was left
- some good Indian food
- purchasing unfortunately expensive new glasses
- losing in the first round of kickball playoffs
- reading and not writing
- i'm struggling terribly to think of anything else that's really important, and a bunch of the above are a fucking stretch at that
so, like i said i'm trying to get back on track a bit
this is going to include me working to update in some form my own site, this site, possibly the TDR blog, and also designing a website for a TDR book in the very near future
i'll try to keep some of that information here, though to be honest i have no idea who / if anybody is scoping this out. either way it serves as a good selfish way for me to store things whether they be ideas or just blabbering on like the above update basically has been |
|
|
| summer's closing and i'm okay with that |
[Jul. 31st, 2006|10:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the eraser | ] |
ah hot hot heat and summer is drawing to an end slowly but surely here. after some power outages, the threat of some further outages this week as the weather continues to hot up, a few trips (including one to florida just concluding very nearly now) and some good reading i am pretty much ready for it to be done with
things here are about to enter a potentially very good or very bad period. we will see. i'd say the next 6 weeks will determine that, surely
i am looking forward to the chance of cold nights and breathing in air that clears your sinuses. i am looking forward to struggling through the city late at night trying to find a bar and a drink to warm up. i am looking forward to figuring a thing or two out and moving with things, moving with things, moving
i got to see my cousin, his wife, his family for a few days. it was nice, pretty relaxed but nice. i don't think i will be heading back down there for a little while, but only because if i'm going anywhere else i am going to push for some place i have never been or seen, or at least some place i have liked quite a lot
slowly but surely i am shedding the excess things in my life. and by things i mean both things and people.
i need to get to a place where it all matters. where moves genuinely mean something and where pauses hold just as much in them. it's going to take time. i hope i have it |
|
|
| the soccer experiment |
[Jul. 14th, 2006|12:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | radiohead - videotape (live) | ] |
i am now in quite a fucking weird mood. this has to do with a photograph i just saw that relates to me personally, with the news i have been reading all day, with the state of the world as stupid a phrase as that may be
to address part the first - i feel in some ways like i needed photographic evidence of you, of your state, of your being, of you and where you are and where you are not. i'd had my hunches and my guesses and flights of fancy but now there is concrete. now there is titanium steel and now there is finally the proof. it's odd, because all this time i've been trying to push myself to do this for me, for future, for everything, and now i feel like the weight of you is off. completely. because now there is proof and now there is the finish. what an odd feeling of disbelief coupled with relief at something definitive finally having been reached. now i can start building to what it must be. and i will
other parts from the above - as any of you reasonable folk now, the world has been in a pretty fucked state for quite some time, but this week it just seems like things altogether escalated pretty rapidly. i wish i could tell you why that is, children, but i cannot. the truth is, things like this in the world are getting more and more difficult for me to explain. i am growing pretty weary of trying to understand why people do these things that they do, and that they do to eachother. that is a bad thing, of course, my weariness. but, maybe in some vein it's a good thing. because somebody needs to find a way to change all of the rules of the game. do i purport to be this person? not really. but maybe i can help bring things to that stage. something has to be done
in more personal matters, there is honestly not much to report. i was pretty involved in the world cup, as maybe mentioned in other posts, and this was a much welcome and entertaining distraction, culminating in the italy victory. as a result, i have played soccer 3 times in about the last 14 days, hoping to play again on saturday. it's been fun, and i'd always liked playing when younger and wish i'd have stuck with it in some form if only for the fitness this would've helped to provide. but, i think all of the people involved have enjoyed the games so far, except for the kid who got hit in the balls last game while playing goal. nice guy, and obviously we can all feel for his pain in that one, but it unfortunately does happen in a game where a ball is being kicked at your being
i am looking forward to better things and better days. i am also looking forward to a fall when my room is not disastrously hot. i guess the main thing is, i am looking forward. i can only hope that that is a good thing |
|
|
| i have been to a place called "beantown pub" |
[Jun. 27th, 2006|11:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lethargic | ] |
what it is what it is
1 - went to boston over the weekend. wasn't a bad trip, though to be honest i really am not particularly enamored of the city. got to watch a bunch of the cup, bounced around a bit, and had only one bad bus ride, so that's good
2 - had my second kickball game. that's right, i've joined a kickball league with a bunch of friends. i had what i'm told is a play that could've made the highlight reels this game - a diving catch in the outfield for an out. it wasn't necessarily intentional in the sense that the grass just happened to be slippery as fuck, but i held onto the ball and that's what counts
3 - then i had my second night of drinking with kickball folk. this was, once again, rough. i don't know how well i can continue handling the heavy monday night drinking. it was a fun time, but i got involved in competitive drinking with a Brit and i have paid for it today by feeling absolutely miserable
otherwise, in the sphere of the more general.... not sure, really. it's cooled down, sort of, here because of rain. i'm tired from last night, but outside of boredom at work am generally doing okay. yeah, i guess that's the note to go with - generally i am doing okay
i have watched a number of sort of profound movies lately, some documentary-style, some regular fictional films, and they've been lingering in my mind a bit. i guess just the feeling that it's time for things to become more meaningful. that's a feeling that's hard to hold onto when you spend your monday nights getting absolutely obliterated. maybe we're too young to feel like we need to make our mark, but i don't think so. i don't know how to go about doing it, but i don't think so |
|
|
| promises not kept |
[Jun. 18th, 2006|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hot | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the teeth | ] |
i've been trying to update this about once a week. obviously that is not happening, but let it be known that i've got it on my mind and that i do sort of feel badly about that. if only because this serves as a place and a time for me to collect my thoughts in a way
the world cup is on, and though many of you may think it is boring as hell, i've had quite a time watching it when i can and reading about it while at work (this mainly because, honestly, i just need something to read while i'm at that goddamn place)
i don't know or think that there is anything particularly big to report. this weekend wound up being even more quiet than the last, but i'm mostly okay with that. i've been trying to avoid drinking too heavily, and i've been doing a pretty solid job of it to this point. i don't think i've really been drunk since my birthday, and i consider that a success.
i'm trying to kind of get a couple things organized, and i am doing so. more work on this needs to be done this week, and it's looking to be a busy week which is good by me. i also am planning to hit boston on the weekend, which should be a good momentary change of pace.
last weekend i went to bowery ballroom for a show, and one of the openers were these guys:
Dr Dog
if they hit your town, check them out. they're not a style of music i'm typically drawn to and their stuff online doesn't sound great. but jesus what a live show and what a sound. completely not what i expected, and honestly one of the better live bands i have ever seen.
oh. i bought a soccer ball today. i also played with it for a while. it's amazing how much my skill level has gone down. but, that's okay, i'm willing to work on that. it'll have to be one of my many projects. what projects? there are a lot, kids
i feel like philly might have a decent music scene and that makes me want to head down there and check it out. i'll have to work on that
oddly enough, i think that's all i have to say for the moment |
|
|
| it's wednesday and raining. yuppers |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|08:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the white stripes - the union forever | ] |
what another exciting fuckall day here. last weekend it poured and although we had a string of nice days it looks like that is about to resume here in sunnyside town. and gee boy golly am i glad that this weekend is looking like another wash
last weekend i checked out a friends comedy show at UCB with a bunch of people (it was good), then went out drinking with him til 2 am. woke up saturday, hit some thrift stores, then had our second TDR event which i think went decently. stayed out til 2 drinking that night. then sunday i stayed home and made split pea soup, watching the office (brit version). whoa nelly!
so far this has been a turtle paced week and i guess that happens. going to a show friday, hopefully will be active tomorrow, and yeah. yup.
it's kind of hard when there's nothing really big to tell here. i bought a cheap sports watch yesterday. is that news?
i have a basil plant now. it's growing well. i expect to knife into it soon and pick off some of its lovely leaves.
i am tempted to drain the rest of a bottle of bourbon that i have right now by myself. but i won't because i'm trying to be good about that sort of thing |
|
|
| memorial day memorialized |
[May. 30th, 2006|12:34 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | grizzly bear - horn of plenty | ] |
it's been a long weekend. this means i am pretty tired, but i am still up at 12.30. i dont know why that is, it just is.
friday was a night of going out, though relatively sober/sane, saturday i honestly barely remember what i did because it passed by mostly in a meaningless blur, and then sunday i worked my ass off outside, got sun-burned, then went out to dinner for the old man's b-day. i got home around 11 pm
today, TDR meeting, then out to brooklyn for a bbq. this was a pretty decent time and featured a wood-chip heater exploding. it was nice, and it left a small crater in the concrete sidewalk. had some good conversation, good laughs. came back here and rented "melinda and melinda" which was okay (i don't feel like i really gained anything from it, there were a few funny moments but mostly it was just an okay movie... i get the concept, and it was a much more interesting concept than the film itself turned out to be)
on saturday, i do remember one or two things, i guess i was lying before. i stayed up until around 3 am watching movies on cable (some good ones, shockingly) then went into my room to sleep. when i got there, i decided to look through some old shit i have (meaning: letters, cards, etc.. sent to me by ex girlfriends) and wound up doing that for honestly i am not sure how long
it is an odd experience, that kind of a thing. it isn't an altogether uncommon thing for me because for some reason i like to re-open old wounds, particularly my own. but, this time, i didn't really feel that bad doing this. i mean, i did certainly feel a type of nostalgia for the way things were at certain points in my life in terms of both the simplicity and the happiness, but i didn't really feel sad and the biggest bit of it is that i didn't feel hurt. that is a really good thing.
there is something that makes it hard for me to hate any of the women that i've been involved with, and that is that, generally, they said some pretty tremendously nice things to me over the course of time. and even if at this point i feel like most of it was bullshit and clearly has because of time become meaningless, it is pretty hard to deny the strength of some of these words. it is just an odd thing to go through that because it gives me a glance at what the woman's state of mind was at that point. i also realized that it was pretty hard for me to remember what my feelings towards the relationships were at these various moments - and therefore what effect such strong words had on me. it is a pretty astonishing thing, to me, that i feel like i am much much more able to understand the strength of words written this way. maybe that's odd, because i'm not sure how terribly much i have changed, but i think it is a truth and an honest change. i think i have learned that it is necessary in future not only for me to talk more plainly about these sorts of things, but to do a much much better job of listening and appreciating the spoken and written word
i dont know, just something i felt like saying i guess |
|
|
| attempt attempt attempt |
[May. 21st, 2006|08:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the evens | ] |
i'm starting to feel a little bit better about what is coming. maybe not 100% convinced about it, but starting to feel better at least.
the weekend was mostly one of relaxing, avoiding heavy drinking, doing simple things and thinking things through a little bit. i'm not going to lie about the fact that mostly it became a weekend of relaxing, but some thinking was definitely accomplished and that's a good thing at least
the lack of any particularly major events means that there isn't necessarily a wondrous amount of things to put in this space. mostly, the events have been internal and i think sometimes we all need some moments to work through our own things. i am hoping this will all be for the better
one of the worst things about our world today is that the volume of bad news certainly beats into a person the feeling that he cannot change the general trend of things on his own. i hope that isn't really the case because christ does this world need some change
i want to be a marx, a klee, anyone who has come up with their own unique path of thinking, something new which can maybe affect someone anyone. i guess that's not so simple |
|
|
| briefly |
[May. 18th, 2006|12:40 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the joggers | ] |
well, i guess i haven't been quite sticking to updating this once a week as i had hoped to do. i guess mainly because the past couple of weeks have been a sort of blurry run of, well... not very much i guess
i think i'm going to have to save anything in depth for a later update, but i am feeling good about starting to figure certain things out. i have to start putting myself out there much much more than i do right now, but that's okay because i know i can do that once i am willing to do so.
in terms of work / personal work. the job is the same old bullshit and pretty shortly i have to genuinely find something else. i've taken the first steps towards that and feel good about that. i've stopped on my personal (me) writing and whatnot just because i guess i haven't felt particularly inspired recently. i've been doing some TDR work, though, and that's been going decently smoothly and for that i am glad
i think i'm developing a sort of game plan and a sort of trajectory. i wish that i had certain aspects of my life more handled by now so i had someone to support me in all of this, but i know it's okay for now. i think that it would just make certain things, certain challenges and likely sacrifices a bit more easy to accept.
isn't it odd that we feel more compelled to live for others than for ourselves? it's amazing how difficult it is for me to be motivated to improve things for me, but how easily i can justify in my mind the pursuit of certain things to benefit others, whether it be a world at large or what i hope will be my future family. i don't know if that's taking an easy way out or what, but it honestly just is so much simpler to rationalize
i think what i'm left thinking is - i wish i could be great at things i think i would love doing. i just honestly don't at this point. maybe i will prove myself wrong, but i don't think i can keep waiting for that to happen
alright, this is longer than i expected even though it's a bit short. i guess i should go to bed because showing up for work tomorrow would probably be a sort of good thing |
|
|
| view outside is brick walls, glass windows, and trees with flowers |
[Apr. 19th, 2006|06:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the white stripes - get behind me satan | ] |
so, what the fuck huh?
alrighty, let's get into it -
One of the things that I've realized having been doing a lot of reading, a lot of listening to music, and a lot of watching of (generally) not very good tv lately is:
have you ever read a passage in a novel or watched some fucking uber-dramatic show on tv and realized how they make it like every phrase, every word is about something actually serious? meaning - there do not seem to be wasted words. not saying that there are never moments taken, asides, where stupid and small things happen, but these are just moments aside. more generally, though, the action, the dialogue, all of these things are about events, feelings, things that genuinely matter. why does it seem like our everyday is not really like that? i don't know, it just feels like it should be. not saying that every moment should be life or death or anything like that, but that there should be a whole lot more moments that really matter, moments where really decisive things happen, i guess just moments where things of real importance happen. i don't know how to shift towards that, but i would like to
so, again, particularly with reading a broad variety of books, and with having it out with a few folk, i am left here sitting and wondering where i am going in my own development. this is a strange way to put things because i'm not a 5 year old and my development isn't discussing when i'm going to hit 4 foot or some shit like that. but, still, development is a pretty important thing. and, to be frank, i feel like if i'm going to pick one area where i have stagnated since finishing with school, i guess my development would be the biggest one
things that i have developed are - writing, comedic writing, some technical skills, an ability to support myself
that is pretty much it. and that's not nearly enough. so, what i guess i'm saying is that i still feel like i haven't really "grown up" in the sense that i want things to matter, i want things to be important, not to half-ass them and feel indifferent to them. i do not know what exactly is going to make me feel that way, but i do have some ideas.
this is turning out to be a long update, but that's okay. i will end it on a lighter note in a bit.
so, there are still quite a few gaps in what my plan for the future is, i wouldn't dare pretend. but, some of the more general things are feeling like they're falling into place and that's not bad. now it's more of a matter of fixing a few things, getting a move on a few others, and thinking things through. isn't it amazing how it feels like we very rarely sit down to try to think anything out at this point? i tried to, recently, and there were so many fucking distractions about me still that it just felt impossible. maybe these kinds of things are meant to come to us in little dribbles, little moments of realization, but i would really love to be able to sit down for a few hours or a few days and really just get a sketch, an outline of what i want to come
okay, recommendations -
books -
Hairstyles of the Damned - Joe Meno : just finished this the other day. borrowed it from eric at TDR, who likened it to a "modern catcher in the rye". i haven't read catcher in the rye in a really long fucking time so i don't know about that, but really entertaining book with some very poigniant (spelling) moments. honestly, you will laugh a lot while reading this but it has some really great serious scenes as well
Grapes of Wrath - Steinbeck : i've only read a few of Steinbeck's works, and i just finished this like 2 weeks ago. honestly though, if you haven't read any or much of his stuff, go do so. great lines, great stories, just really fucking good
music-
Wolf Parade - Apologies to the Queen Mary : yes, these guys are riding the tide of Montreal indie rock popularity and yes it took me a second listen before i really started liking this, but i really started liking it. there are probably like 2 tracks on it that are not really great, and out of the Montreal shit i've heard The Unicorns is still by far my favorite, but overall a good album. i think i like track #2 the most
The Talking Heads - The Best of the Talking Heads : i never really was into these guys, but their name is obviously bounced around a fucking lot. roca let me borrow this, and after like 2 listens some of the songs grew on me. a couple of the tracks will be disgustingly familiar if you've ever spent any time listening to classic rock radio, but some of the tracks that you probably never heard are pretty good too. i think the track i like most is 8 "Memories can't wait" which for some reason i just like a whole lot
take care children
VM |
|
|
| and there it is |
[Apr. 11th, 2006|12:17 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fan whir | ] |
twenty-four.
i guess that's all there is to say.
it is arrived and i'm not sure how i should be feeling about it. granted, it is a somewhat arbitrary marking of things, but it's the best we've got
if nothing else, i feel confident that i am gradually starting to understand certain things that i need to do to become whatever it is i am to become. these are only pieces of the whole, but i'd rather have a few minor starting points then to still be in shambles.
i am trying. maybe i'm not trying nearly as hard as i should be. but i am. |
|
|
| right on right on |
[Mar. 27th, 2006|02:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | indifferent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | spoon - kill the moonlight | ] |
so it's a monday and i am home because i woke up this morning and decided not to go into work even though i'm already going to have a week shortened by an impending trip to florida this weekend. yeah
yesterday was a relatively full day, a TDR meeting early in the day that went well and went long, followed by a break for about 2 hours, some work, and then going out for drinks. i wound up going to bed at 3 am and deciding just not to bother going in today after waking up on time. i guess mostly i just don't give a fuck and that's what it comes down to
otherwise, the weekend wasn't bad, it had its moments, and i guess that generally things are going okay over here besides the usual complaints. things have been busy and should be busier, but that's not the worst thing that could happen.
i'm thinking of someone and something i don't really want to be, and sitting here in a t-shirt that reaks of cigarette smoke from last night
i'm thinking that i have some work to do and i am about to start trying to do it |
|
|
| in brief |
[Mar. 17th, 2006|12:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | beck - one foot in the grave | ] |
one way or another i am going to figure out how to effect change in my life and in the things around me. this nothingness and bullshit has got to stop. it is tired as hell.
quickly
-two dollar radio had its first new york event. it went pretty well. i got decently drunk
-things are up and down again in terms of being busy, but i have a shitload i should be doing personally and for TDR. i'm getting there, little by little
-i'm getting drunk tomorrow night with an irishman for st.patrick's day. he wants to either pick a fight or wake up in someone strange's apartment. i'm up for either one.
-there is a lot of thinking i need to do and questions that feel like they should've been answered years ago. obviously, they weren't
i'm tired but that's okay i guess. it would be more okay if i were tired for better reasons |
|
|
| i thought i missed you |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|02:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  weird | ] |
| [ | music |
| | david bowie | ] |
i had a dream this morning as i rolled back to bed, feeling like i needed rest and to stop my stomach hurting
i saw you in a restaurant or a bar or something, talking to a former roommate of yours. i looked at you and i said your name, wondering if it was you. i asked you to put out your fingers to touch mine so as to prove that it wasn't a dream. you did and i felt fingertips touch
you and this former roommate began walking off after that and i followed a few feet behind. then i shouted out your name and you came back. and i grabbed you and held you tightly, an action i never thought i would take at this point. i think we were both surprised and i told you that i hadn't realized i would react like this to seeing you. you looked at me in an odd way and then our mouths met and we kissed and it was messy, sloppy, not like how it once was but it made sense because we both forgot. then we held eachother and i could feel emotion balling inside of me and then i forced myself to wake up.
and now i've spent some time this morning wondering about this and mostly what it tells me is that i need to burn every sense and nostalgic feeling i have for you finally out of my mind and body because if these kinds of things can keep sneaking up on me in my unconscious then clearly i'm still pretty rotten on the inside right about now |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 22nd, 2006|01:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  irritated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nothing in particular | ] |
it's a touch past one in the morning on a tuesday night. and i am sitting here wasting my time
tonight has been full of nothing and that has been a pretty good description for what this week has, honestly, been about thus far.
times like this are making me grow tempted to do things i do not want to do.
yeah. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 17th, 2006|10:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sigur ros | ] |
on cold nights like this
i drink three beers
then go outside
and smoke a cigarette
while looking at
winters skeletal tree remains
i think i know what i have to do
i don't
so i step outside again
wearing the same striped sweater
i've been wearing for months
and have another
and look at the moon |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
unattainable's journal